I'm Really Ticked Off

 

 

There is nothing that I can't stand more than a thief. Well, that might be a little dramatic. I mean, there are worse things than that. But, a thief really ticks me off!

Let me just tell you what happened....

We've just experienced the most beautiful wedding. As part of the floral decorations, we used ferns. These ferns were full and beautiful and huge. After the wedding, I used a couple here at home and took the rest to the beach. I hung three on the front porch and one on the back porch. Hanging ferns on your porch just adds something special. It makes it look all southern and such.

Well, when I went to the beach yesterday, I didn't notice it at first. I had walked over to my neighbors house to see her new porch. We were talking about the wedding and I told her that the ferns were from the wedding. I pointed to the back porch to show her the one there and, AND.....OMG, where is my fern? Y'all, it was gone! Nothing left but the chain it was hanging on.

You know how when you experience something traumatic and every thought in the universe runs through your mind in 3.2 seconds flat? Yeah, well...that's what was happening to me. I may have felt faint and nauseous, but I couldn't let my neighbor see my shortcomings. So, I just said.....something like, "Who would take my fern? All I know is they better be asking for forgiveness." But what I really wanted to say was, "I can't believe someone would steal my fern! I hope they get caught and their hands fall off. I hope the fern dies. If they wanted it so bad, they could have asked and I would have given it to them....don't just up and steal my fern!"

So, I looked all around the house wondering if maybe the wind blew it down....and...nothing. I questioned the neighborhood, asking if they had seen anyone take it. And no one had. Pam remembers seeing it on Sunday. So sometime between Sunday and Wednesday....a THIEF came on my porch and stole my fern! And I am still mad!

I kind of have an idea who might have done it. And I guess before I start wishing things fall off on the man, I should really hope he asks forgiveness....like I said originally. For now, I'm going to breathe deeply and try to get over it. Lord knows, I hope no more go missing. I don't want to spontaneously combust.

Fuming in the Carolinas,

Laurie

There's A Thief On The Loose

 

Old Homestead on LaLa's Lane

 

Nostalgia is my friend. We hang out. We talk. We reminisce. Nostalgia makes me wish I were a pioneer woman, sometimes. But then I remember that pioneers used out houses and I snap out of it. But never-the-less, I love old stuff, old homes, antiques...you get the picture. The photo above is of an old homestead on our property. I don't know the history of this old home, but I'm sure it belonged to the family that owned our property many, many years ago.

 

This old house used to have an old tin roof and beautiful old doors. Nothing special, no artisan craftsmanship, just old and plain and I loved them. She was in a state of disrepair and would eventually just rot and fall down. But I could see potential at every corner. So, last summer we had someone start the task of disassembling her and saving the best wood to build a potting shed for me. It was an arduous task due to it's location and the heat from long summer days. But, we managed to start a pretty good stash. My potting shed project got put on the back burner and the old house still just stands among the trees just as you see her here.

 

I took this photo last week. When I saw it, I nearly went into convulsions. Because as you can see, my beautiful old doors are gone. GONE! Three of them...just GONE! I could not believe it. What happened to them....I just couldn't imagine. I had previously asked for the doors to be saved intact. I wanted to use them, just as they were, on my potting shed. The only thing I could think of was that the guy whose crew was taking her down had come back and removed them for me. I called him and of course, he had not. He asked who would want them...maybe someone who would sell them as antiques? Good question.

 

There's a thief on the loose and he or she or the devil incarnate has stolen my old homestead doors. And I am mad! First of all, the old house is not easily visible from the highway. You have to drive down our lane to be able to see it. So, someone has been casing out our property and came back when no one was home and stole my doors. I just can't think about it for long because I get so angry that I almost wish harm on the thief. I feel violated. I hope whoever has my doors might read this and understand how much I loved them and will return them. It's not likely, but I had to give it a chance.

 

Thank heavens, I had enough forethought to have the doorknobs removed last summer when the disassembling began. (See doorknob below). It's all I have left. For now, we will begin taking her down again to salvage the wood and any old bricks used as pillars. She will make a gorgeous potting shed and I can't wait. I will give her new life and she will shine as in her former glory.

 

 

Doorknob from the old doors.

 

To the thief who has my doors....I hope you seek forgiveness because if you don't, you and Satan are going to be bunk mates one day. And I also hope that stealing my doors causes you so much discomfort that you would gladly return them. Amen!

Laurie

 

P.S. - Cliff doesn't know it yet, but I am offering a reward for the safe return of my beautiful doors. 

Christmas Revisted...a liar and a thief

Running stats.....in case you were wondering.  

Total miles today: 4.2

Total miles run hurting: 3.2 (Something going on with my left knee and hip. Need to figure it out....don't want to be sidelined.)

Total miles walked: 1 (trying to recover from the pain)

Ran with: Whitney (Priceless)

Run route: The track at my old Alma Mater...Andrews High School

 

This is my daddy. This makes the 5th year that he has spent Christmas in Heaven. And this Christmas, he may have turned over in his grave. Because...................

It's official. I'm a liar and a thief. All I can say about that is that drastic times requires drastic measures.

It all began three weeks ago, when we found out that my daughter, Whitney, was able to come home for Christmas, after all. She wanted to surprise her grandmothers, so she asked us not to tell them she was coming. I had to shush Cliff a couple of times. He almost let the cat out of the bag, but not me.....I lied like the best of them. When Mama and Mrs. Wanda asked if Whitney was coming home, I told them no because her husband had to work and she didn't want to leave him alone. They said things like..."I am going to miss Whitney this year, I sure wish she and Jason could come home for Christmas." I tried to console them as best as I could...while lying through my teeth. I really started to feel bad for them; they were genuinely sad that they were not going to see Whitney and Jason this year.

Christmas Eve, Whitney was scheduled to leave Denver at 5:10 pm. I had already been glued to the Weather Channel to follow the news of the snow in the Midwest and the rain and tornado warnings in the east. I was concerned about the weather causing delays or even cancelling flights altogether. And, as luck would have it....her flight out of Denver was delayed. Now, she had a connecting flight in Chicago that was scheduled to leave at 8:55 pm. But because Denver's flight was delayed by 50 minutes meant that she was going to have only 5 minutes to change planes. It was down to the wire. She arrived in Chicago at 8:50 pm. For some reason, the flight leaving for Charleston was being delayed by another 5 minutes....so she had a slither of hope to make the connection. She said she came off the plane with about 15 more people RUNNING. An airport employee asked Whitney if she was running to catch the flight to Charleston and she said, "Yes". The employee told her that they were holding the plane for them. Thank heavens for Christmas miracles. She made the flight with no time to spare.

Christmas Eve dinner is always spent with my side of the family. And then my children always spend Christmas Eve night with us and even Santa Claus visits my grandchildren on Christmas Eve at my house. So....I was busy all day Monday cleaning, making the beds with fresh linens, baking and cooking the dishes I was taking to mama's that night and wrapping last minute gifts that FedEx had delivered that day. I did not stop to take note of the toilet paper inventory. And, as luck would have it.......I ran completely out. I didn't have time to go to the grocery store to buy more....I had too much to do. Aha, found a box of Puff's Tissue that would work until I could get to the store.  OMG! These tissues have Vicks Rub in them. Well....we'll just have to grin and bear it. Drastic measures!!

So, off to dinner at mama's with all my family. We visited and caught up with each other, ate and opened gifts. Cliff and I had to excuse ourselves a little early, but couldn't say why. I lied again, making up some kind of story. All the while, Cliff was tracking flight times on Southwest Airlines from his phone. So off to the airport we go. I was so excited that I nearly forgot about the toilet paper emergency. We stopped at two stores on the way to the airport and both were closed. OK, so what now? I sure hoped the Puff's Tissue, albeit a little infused with Vicks, would last through the night. We got to the airport with less than 10 minutes to spare before Whitney's arrival. So, I made a quick potty break, which reminded me once again of the lack of toilet paper back at my house. I never saw it coming, but right there, at 11:50 pm on Christmas Eve, in the Charleston International Airport bathroom, I made the decision that would forever label me as a toilet paper thief. I roped off  three or four feet of airport toilet paper and stuck in my pocketbook. I was desperate and it was so easy. I walked to the gate to meet Whitney and no one was the wiser.

Christmas morning....that toilet paper came in mighty handy. Emily never knew the difference. Holla!!  My grandchildren were surprised by Whitney. We told them she hitched a ride with Santa. Whitney also surprised her grandmother's. They both were so shocked. I don't think I've ever seen Mrs. Wanda jump up out of a chair as fast as she did, when she saw Whitney walk into the room. And the next day, when we visited my mama, she looked like she was going to faint..like she had seen a ghost or something. It sure was a successful Christmas this year. We pulled off three great surprises and a major toilet paper emergency was averted. I spent awhile trying to regain my status as a "truth teller" and begging forgiveness for taking such drastic measures as stealing toilet paper from the airport bathroom.

I'm wondering if I need therapy.

Time will tell.

How was your Christmas this year? Did anything exciting happen at your house? Tell me about it in the comments below.

Hallelujah! I have been reformed,

Laurie