My heart feels like it's being ripped from my chest. I can hardly breathe. Today is the day that I go from being a hands on LaLa to a long distance one. Today is the day my babies move to the upstate.
Since packing up the Uhaul and sending it on it's way Wednesday, Emily has stayed at our house. Lidia and Sawyer were on vacation this past week with their daddy, but spent the night with us last night, after getting home from their trip. Everything was going ok, until bedtime.
Lidia is the sweetest child in the whole world....at least she is in mine! And she is very intuitive. As much as we've tried to be positive and upbeat, she knows without a shadow of a doubt that things will never be the same. This upsets her and that upsets me. Her mother and I were doing damage control of sorts at bedtime last night because Lidia was crying and saying that she didn't want to move. It took all I had to hold back my tears. I tried to console her by promising her that I would come see them all the time and that I would bring her home on weekends. That did little to help. So then I started telling her stories of my childhood....about how I moved around a lot because my daddy was in the Army. I explained how even though our address might change that our family was still together. I explained that she would have new experiences, new adventures and make lots of new friends. She finally started to calm down. I left the room so her mama could take over.
I really left the room because I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. I excused myself to the restroom to get a handle on my emotions. I know the kids will be fine and all that I told Lidia is true, but I feel her pain so badly. It hurts! I'm going to miss the heck outta them.
Right now, all I know for sure is that it's a good thing I just got new tires put on my vehicle. Because I'm going to be keeping the roads hot! Road trips will be my thing. As I was telling Lidia last night, life constantly changes. But, there are also things that stay the same.....I will always be her LaLa and that her Papi and I will always love her. She will always have a place in our home. Lord, I even have to remind my own self of that. If y'all could say a prayer for us, I would sure appreciate it. It's going to be a dark day.
I need to go. Lidia is up and we are going to make breakfast together. It was her idea. She's trying. Lord bless her and me.
Until next time,
Disclaimer: Today, I can not be held responsible for grammatical errors or misspelled words. I'm not even gonna try. Oh and in case you were wondering, Sawyer is fine.