Saturday, August 17, 2013

My Heart Hurts!

My heart feels like it's being ripped from my chest. I can hardly breathe. Today is the day that I go from being a hands on LaLa to a long distance one. Today is the day my babies move to the upstate.

Since packing up the Uhaul and sending it on it's way Wednesday, Emily has stayed at our house. Lidia and Sawyer were on vacation this past week with their daddy, but spent the night with us last night, after getting home from their trip.  Everything was going ok, until bedtime.

Lidia is the sweetest child in the whole least she is in mine! And she is very intuitive. As much as we've tried to be positive and upbeat, she knows without a shadow of a doubt that things will never be the same. This upsets her and that upsets me. Her mother and I were doing damage control of sorts at bedtime last night because Lidia was crying and saying that she didn't want to move. It took all I had to hold back my tears.  I tried to console her by promising her that I would come see them all the time and that I would bring her home on weekends. That did little to help. So then I started telling her stories of my childhood....about how I moved around a lot because my daddy was in the Army. I explained how even though our address might change that our family was still together. I explained that she would have new experiences, new adventures and make lots of new friends. She finally started to calm down. I left the room so her mama could take over.

I really left the room because I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. I excused myself to the restroom to get a handle on my emotions.  I know the kids will be fine and all that I told Lidia is true, but I feel her pain so badly. It hurts! I'm going to miss the heck outta them.

Right now, all I know for sure is that it's a good thing I just got new tires put on my vehicle. Because I'm going to be keeping the roads hot! Road trips will be my thing. As I was telling Lidia last night, life constantly changes. But, there are also things that stay the same.....I will always be her LaLa and that her Papi and I will always love her. She will always have a place in our home. Lord, I even have to remind my own self of that. If y'all could say a prayer for us, I would sure appreciate it. It's going to be a dark day.

I need to go. Lidia is up and we are going to make breakfast together. It was her idea. She's trying. Lord bless her and me.

Until next time,

Disclaimer: Today, I can not be held responsible for grammatical errors or misspelled words. I'm not even gonna try. Oh and in case you were wondering, Sawyer is fine.


  1. Praying for you.....the best thing they will be in SC. Its hard to see them go. Oh now the phone calls ya'll will have. Buy a lot of stamps it will be special for them to get mail from you and Cliff....Bobbi

  2. By the time I finished reading this, I was crying. Praying for all of you. Angela

    1. I feel your pain. At least they are close enough for road trips. :)

  3. Our oldest boy, Noel, and our as yet only Grandchild will be moving even further away this fall as he takes a job in Vancouver, Canada...It has been so hard not being able to visit whenever we want, and now it will be even more difficult. I know what you are going through, and you are in our prayers.

  4. I think I can type between the tears...Sending hugs your way this rainy Saturday morning. Praying your days shall be filled with unexpected delight, joy and laughter which shall invade to ease the burden weighing heavy upon your heart. Reminder, sorrow may last for a night but JOY comes in the morning!

  5. I have no children so I can understand your pain but not feel it on the level you are. However, you are a blogging sister of mine and I had to tell you I'm here for you even if I haven't had this experience. I know what it is to leave close friends behind when yet another move was on the horizon during my younger days and I guess pain is pain no matter how it comes at you! My love and prayers are with you my dear friend. You will come through on the other side of this cloud with the sun shining and a brand new take on your relationship together... even better just different!
    Hugs and much love,
    Beth P

  6. I'm glad they are close enough for you to drive and visit. Our #2 son and his wife and family moved to Oregon last year and it's been hard to be a long away YaYa, but they are sure happy to see us when we visit! You will find a new normal, but I do feel your sadness. I hope all goes well with the move...keeping you in my prayers!

  7. God bless you all!!! Prayers for you.

  8. Completely relate right now.

  9. What a heartbreaking time for all of you. I live just far enough from my parents that I can't be a part of their everyday life, going to supper, shopping trips, etc. My son has had to adjust to not having them close most of his life, but as crummy as that is, we still manage to stay very close. Hope you can hit the road to visit them very soon...hugs and prayers.

  10. My heart hurts for you! I always lived very close to my grandparents, my children have not had the luxury. Hugs to you

  11. oh by now you have gor over the initial sorrow of your kids/kidlets moving away. I hate that all of our children and grands live 5 hours away. But at least they are all within minutes of each other. How cools is that? John just retired and we have no intention of uprooting our life to move closer. For starters we own our home and would never have anything comparable in seattle. THree of the four have inlaws back here as well so they do come home to visit. Now we can have several of our grandkids a week or so at a time every summer@@ no parents heheh